Really humbled by an incredible God

This is a hard post to write. The journey God has had us on has gone to places I never imagined. Back in January I started blogging, and I wrote the following in a post called "Getting pushed to the edge":

"So I guess he is taking me to a new edge in my life. I have walked to many edges in my foolishness or selfishness. I know those edges. This one really was a walk of faith, and I know I wasn't being stupid in my decision to walk out there. But for some reason I am standing here with my toes hanging over the edge, knowing that my loving Daddy led me here, and knowing on another level that it isn't going like it should have. So I am standing here with my hands empty and looking a little dumb, because there was nothing out here. The journey led nowhere."

When I wrote that, we had been following Papa on a journey of trying to buy property in Colorado. We had found a place and it seemed perfect, and even though every time we tried to get financing it fell through, we felt certain that He was leading us to continue with it. As I wrote in the blog, I have had my own agenda many times in the past, yet this didn't feel like my agenda. It really seemed that God was leading us to pursue this house. I know that sounds selfish and way too much like the prosperity, religious BS that I feel strongly against. That is why it felt like God - because it called us into territory that was very uncomfortable for us. I have always thought that God has far better things to do than go around blessing already hedonistic people with more things they don't need. I believe in a God who doesn't have to do anything I want. I believe he is very much God if he doesn't bless or do anything I want him to do. I have worked hard to rediscover a faith that gets away from tenants like that.

So to say that it really felt like the spirit was leading buying this house is really hard to say. I don't think it was about God wanting to bless us. It was about seeing if we would be faithful to a God who looked like he wasn't going to do anything for us. All I knew at the time was that He was indicating this direction, and that we were supposed to follow, and that following, as crazy as it seemed to follow, was the act of worship He was calling us into.

It was particularly hard when the funding fell through more than half a dozen times. There looked like there might be a way, and then it would fall through. Over and over this happened. Finally we just gave up. We had exhausted every possible option truly believing that Papa wanted us to follow in this direction. The blog entry above was the final entry into the story - that the trusting of his goodness, even if nothing good happened, was the walk of faith. Getting to the edge of the cliff that lead to nowhere was the end. Or so we thought.

I won't go into details. Some pretty incredible things have happened through some pretty incredible people. I don't want to toot anybody's horn except my Papa's, so let it suffice to say that in 3 days we are leaving for Colorado, to move into a house that was meant to be. And now I am standing on the edge of a different cliff where suddenly, and miraculously, the path did lead somewhere. And I have to sit in utter amazement and awe at how much my Papa loves me.