Lost in the journey

Lately I find myself very lost in the journey God has been leading me down. I don't know where I am going or why. Lots of shame from childhood seems to flood in at times like these. I know the truth about who I am. I know that Papa is trustworthy and good, even when I don't see, hear, feel, or believe it. I am so thankful that He is beyond my ability to control. I am grateful that He is so beyond my perceptions.

It is times like this that I have to remind myself of the basics of life; God is God and I am not; He is good when I am not; He is active and working when I see Him not (I feel a song brewing here); He never changes, He never fails, He is always......period. My emotions tell me a whole different message about Him, but the truths I know speak louder.

So the truths are that I feel lost, that He is present, and there ain't much I'm going to do to magically make life all better. I'd like to find a way to be fully in the stuff of life like this that isn't any fun. I'd like to trust that even though the day is cloudy, the sun still shines above it.

I find that this is one of those places where I can excercise the image of God in me. I guess I believe that us being created in His image isn't about how we look or act. I believe the image of God in us is the ability to choose. The power to exercise choice is me functioning in God's image. When I choose wisely, life comes into focus some.

The choice today is;
Do I want to let my senses (seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, feeling, emotion, intuiting, sensing, etc) dictate the truth of my world, or will I CHOOSE to substitute the truth of Papa's reality for the matrix I live in? That means choosing to believe that He is all the things I know about Him, and then trusting those truths rather than my perceptions.

Easier said than done.

My wife Laura reflected back to me something about how I have a unique way of being really honest in the journey. That really fit. Sometimes I think I am supposed to have all the answers, and that is the gift I offer as a coach or friend or husband. But anybody who knows me can see I don't have all the answers or life all figured out. My gift to the world is an honest heart.

So I guess I will commit myself to honest, from the gut relating as I blog on.