Birthday reflections

It suddenly just dawned on me, like 2 seconds ago, that my spiritual birthday is in 2 days. It will have been 27 years since the decision to follow Jesus - not bad for a guy who is only 25. As I reflect, there are a hundred lifetimes reflected in those years, and at least a million miles. There have been some absolutely horrible spots in the road. There have been times when I wish I had never chosen to follow - not because Jesus wasn't true, but because it has been too damned hard at times. I think about the journey and honestly, it has been a hard one. I guess I made it that way by my slowness of heart.

But then I think about how different it would have been without Jesus. I imagine I would have done the same stupid things and made the exact same mistakes, but there would have been no one there when it came time to find my feet again after my falls. He has never left me of forsaken me, though at times it sure felt like it. As I look back, I see that despite the difficult times, it has been very worth following Him.

There have been so many turns that make the road look convoluted. So many wonderings and wanderings that have made 'the road less traveled' a difficult one. I don't mean any disrespect in my honesty about the toughness of the road. I realize now that every painful step was a needed step. You might say that there was need of more than one shovel to dig me out of the messes of my life.

And now I am here, in this place in the road. And as I look back, the potholes aren't really the things that I remember. What I see as the result of the journey is where I am now. And what I see when I look at the journey from the 'now' is Jesus. I see His working with a pretty unlovely lump of clay, and totally despite me, He is making something beautiful.

It is easy to see the failures of life. I wonder how often we see the Jesus of life. Because Jesus transcends the failures and the successes. He is more than both, and Lord of both, and He offers us more in relationship with Him than we could ever find in the emptiness of our failures or the joy of our successes. He is what it is all about.

I see so far to go, and yet as I turn away from my looking back and face the future, there isn't an infinite number of years left. I am hoping that I have another 27 years in me, but maybe not. But there is a larger question than the number of years left or the number of potholes I have fallen into, or the number of transforming victories I have experienced. And that is the amount of Jesus that I get to shine. You see, apart from the good and bad of the journey is the power, presence, and person of God.

My prayer is that at the end of my life, people won't really notice Mike's mistakes or Mike's accomplishments. Sure, having the good stuff noticed would be great, but it is nothing compared to people noticing Jesus.

Somehow Papa, may people see Jesus. That is my prayer.