Marking time

Its one of those evenings when I start thinking about the swift passing of time. It seems like just last week I was a teenager and over the hill meant 30. Now I am pushing 50 and I realize that I don't have a whole lifetime ahead of me. 60 isn't that far behind, and regardless of how I slice it, the slope is all down hill from here. I don't mean to be overly morbid - it is just that life is feeling mighty precious these days. Many things in my life are coming together, and I see God using me in ways I have only imagined in the past. I want to breathe in every moment of it and not miss a single breath.

So where from here? The single passion in my heart for the last 25 years has been to impact the world for Jesus. But how do we leave a mark in the world? Touching people's lives seems like the most precious commodity of all. What will be left when I am gone? Will any of us have touched history in a way that will live beyond us? When I was 20, I thought I really mattered. Now that I am ever so much past 20, I find my value waning as I struggle to stay young and on the cutting edge. Is there impact that we can make in the second half of life? Or will we continue to discard those most valuable in our society because they aren't 'cool'.

Papa, I want to make a mark. I always have. To leave behind a world that has been changed in some way by my hand - that is my prayer. And if I am really honest, I don't want it to be a small mark. Will all my writings ever be of interest to someone else after I am gone? Will the splash I make in the pond of life send ripples into the future?

I am comforted with the thought that I am not that important. When I am gone, others will pick up the baton of faith. And some will impact the world, and others won't. Ultimately, our relationship with Jesus is the only thing that lasts. And I am deeply thankful, when all is said and done, that Jesus is the author and perfector of our faith. May the marks on history be His to make, whether or not he wants to use the likes of one of us.