An undeserved grace

I just got back from a really fast road trip to see my son and grandson. It was 2500 miles in 4 days. Needless to say, my butt is a little sore.

I got to meet my newborn grandson for the first time. That was pretty incredible. And my son (the grandson's father) got married. It was a whirlwind weekend.

As I reflect on the whole experience, I am humbled that I got to be a part of it. I got to hold my grandson for hours, and I got to be a part of the wedding as well. I was humbled because they included me. I didn't deserve that.

And I realize that my attitude made all the difference - knowing that I didn't deserve it. I was really aware of the subtle ways I was noticed and honored during my time there because I knew they didn't have to include me. I was moved by every act that I didn't deserve. At one point I was holding my grandson and someone else thought they should be able to hold him and sorta took my choice away to carry him in my arms. At first I wanted to argue, but then I realized that I was just privileged to know him and hold him for even a few minutes. So I handed him over. I could feel myself surrendering as I did. I knew that in less than 6 hours I would be on the road and not see him again for several months, but I let it go. It was far harder than I ever imagined it being.

I understand on a new level the grace of God. Grace is one of those things that we can take for granted sometimes- yah, God offers and we accept - but it doesn't always change us. Bonhoffer called that "cheap grace" because it didn't cause a response. After holding that baby and being included in that wedding, even though I didn't deserve either, I know new meaning to the word "grace". And I have a new appreciation for the grace God has shown me - totally undeserved and unmerited - yet freely offered. I realize that I am a lucky man.

Truly I am a lucky man....