So it is new year's eve, and here I am blogging. I should be out partying, bringing in the new year in a drunken haze, but instead I am writing this year end epiphany. After I finish I'll tie one on.
The beginning of a new year is probably my favorite holiday. I love the chance to start over, to begin again, to re-evaluate everything about my life and get an excuse to do some things different. I'm not really into new year's resolutions as much as I am into new beginnings.
If there is one thing that Jesus came for, it was to give us a fresh start. In Him, I can get a mulligan. I get a do over. I get to have my sins washed away and start clean. I like that He is totally about my getting a second (and third and fourth) chance. I like that He pays what I could never afford.
This is my 100th blog for the year. I appreciate deeply anyone who has actually read what I have written. For those of you who know me well, you know the stuff of life that my blogs birth out of. The journey is always visceral for me. I live what I talk about.
A friend once told me that I had the gift of heart. What they meant was that I might not be the best writer in the world, or have the most profound things to say, but what I write and what I say are said straight from the heart. The words are always reflections of what Papa is doing in me.
When I look back at this year and the 100 pieces of my journey that have made it to this blog site, I am deeply thankful. I may have a really long way to go, but I am eternally going. There isn't a day that goes by where I am not wrestling with something. It is Him creating more of Himself in the mud and clay of my life.
Thank you Jesus - that despite my greatest attempts to grow, you still grow me. Thank you for the struggles and the revelations, for the friends that have encouraged me and the difficulties that have stretched me, and thank you that I will never walk this road alone. Thank you Papa for 100 pieces of my story - thank you that I get a part in writing it, and that together we create the future.
May 2009 take us to places I have never imagined and that you have already planned.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Needing each other
I was up on the roof today shoveling some of the 3 feet of snow off, or at least trying to. There was quite a bit of ice built up on the lower edge of the house, so I decided to try to kick it off. Dumb idea. As I kicked, it dislodged and I almost went off the roof. To save myself from a messy fall, I landed on my shoulder on the steel roof, barely keeping myself from going over. I managed to stay on the roof, but in doing so I also separated my shoulder. Of course, being the macho man that I am, I continued shoveling until I was in tears from pain, then I gingerly crawled down the ladder and took 76 ibuprofen.
I am finding that I can't do everything myself with a bum shoulder. As long as my tasks don't require reaching above my head I am pretty much fine. But other than the low zone, I am truly handicapped. It is humbling for a macho man to have to admit he needs others.
My bro John and I were talking about life as we met this morning. One of the things that happens in my relationship with John is that we help each other see our weak spots. I point out the things he doesn't see and he points out mine. It is one of those relationships that I deeply treasure - probably more than I let on sometimes. I hate to admit that I need someone else. But John tenderly shows me the blinds spots in my vision and reminds me that I am not so self sufficient. He really is a gift.
We really do need each other. I think that's why we are called to be in the body of Christ. Not only are we called to be in it, but we ARE the body of Christ. It is the needing each other that connects us. It is built into our design to need - first to need our Papa, and then His kids. Because alone, we really will fall off the edge.
I am deeply thankful that I can't do life alone, even when I want to.
I am finding that I can't do everything myself with a bum shoulder. As long as my tasks don't require reaching above my head I am pretty much fine. But other than the low zone, I am truly handicapped. It is humbling for a macho man to have to admit he needs others.
My bro John and I were talking about life as we met this morning. One of the things that happens in my relationship with John is that we help each other see our weak spots. I point out the things he doesn't see and he points out mine. It is one of those relationships that I deeply treasure - probably more than I let on sometimes. I hate to admit that I need someone else. But John tenderly shows me the blinds spots in my vision and reminds me that I am not so self sufficient. He really is a gift.
We really do need each other. I think that's why we are called to be in the body of Christ. Not only are we called to be in it, but we ARE the body of Christ. It is the needing each other that connects us. It is built into our design to need - first to need our Papa, and then His kids. Because alone, we really will fall off the edge.
I am deeply thankful that I can't do life alone, even when I want to.
Monday, December 29, 2008
In between times
Ever notice that there is a dead spot in the middle of the holidays? For me, it is this whole week. The time off for Christmas was good to spend with family and rest and relax. It was good to reconnect with old friends and boob out in front of a movie. But this year at least I find myself striving to get back in gear. It feels like too many days of space.
And I find myself feeling very unproductive. The old 'works' background kicks in as the default mode, and I feel useless hanging around the house. I am SOOOOO ready to sink my teeth into the new year.
I know the task at hand - I always believe there is a purpose in what is happening, even if we don't see it. But this time I see the task. My purpose is to worship God in the 'nothing to do', to learn to know my value in the midst of inactivity. It is a brief season to know Him apart from activity and production. I want to find value in relationship with THE RELATIONSHIP, and I guess this is a good time to do that.
So I learn to celebrate the moment, even if the moment isn't exactly the one I would choose. It is the one He has given me. It is a gift I don't want to miss.
And I find myself feeling very unproductive. The old 'works' background kicks in as the default mode, and I feel useless hanging around the house. I am SOOOOO ready to sink my teeth into the new year.
I know the task at hand - I always believe there is a purpose in what is happening, even if we don't see it. But this time I see the task. My purpose is to worship God in the 'nothing to do', to learn to know my value in the midst of inactivity. It is a brief season to know Him apart from activity and production. I want to find value in relationship with THE RELATIONSHIP, and I guess this is a good time to do that.
So I learn to celebrate the moment, even if the moment isn't exactly the one I would choose. It is the one He has given me. It is a gift I don't want to miss.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Talkin till 3
Last night my son Trevor and I sat up till 3 am talking. I don't think I've done that since college. For an old fart, I don't feel too bad today. By the way, how long till nap time?
It was one of those 'contemplating your navel' kind of talks - good for a father and son to have. Just hanging out and talking and daring to venture closer in relationship, to talk about the good and the difficult stuff.
It was cool as I look back because I realize there were three of us there - me and Trev and our Papa. In some ways Trevor was just venturing closer to his dad - we don't get to hang much these days living 4 states away from each other. He asked about my life and my beliefs and had questions about relationships - but not as a boy talking to his dad as much as a young man talking to an old man. And both of us were learning to venture closer to our Papa.
By 3 am I had given him all the wisdom I had, and the world's problems had been solved. I realized he was going to be okay because he was God's, not mine. He is so much like I was at his age - gifted, confused, called, scared - a really good place to be. I don't mean by that that I want him to have to be stuck in all those emotions. What I mean is that when I look back on my life, I see that Papa walked with me every step of my journey. At each turn He has brought beauty out of the ashes of my life and redeemed all that I have foolishly squandered. He has been there - always, forever, eternally.
So I asked Trevor the question "What if you can't do this wrong?" (Translated, that question talks about the sovereignty of God). How would any of us live different if we knew we couldn't do it wrong? When I look back at my life, I realize that despite me and all my failures, God is still working in me, gifting me, leading me, and calling me. And I am still scared and confused and wonderfully loved.
It is the adventure of what it means to belong to Him. I have been on it for awhile now. Trevor is in the early stages of it. May Jesus become more real to that young, talented, gifted, growing young man than he has ever imagined.
It was one of those 'contemplating your navel' kind of talks - good for a father and son to have. Just hanging out and talking and daring to venture closer in relationship, to talk about the good and the difficult stuff.
It was cool as I look back because I realize there were three of us there - me and Trev and our Papa. In some ways Trevor was just venturing closer to his dad - we don't get to hang much these days living 4 states away from each other. He asked about my life and my beliefs and had questions about relationships - but not as a boy talking to his dad as much as a young man talking to an old man. And both of us were learning to venture closer to our Papa.
By 3 am I had given him all the wisdom I had, and the world's problems had been solved. I realized he was going to be okay because he was God's, not mine. He is so much like I was at his age - gifted, confused, called, scared - a really good place to be. I don't mean by that that I want him to have to be stuck in all those emotions. What I mean is that when I look back on my life, I see that Papa walked with me every step of my journey. At each turn He has brought beauty out of the ashes of my life and redeemed all that I have foolishly squandered. He has been there - always, forever, eternally.
So I asked Trevor the question "What if you can't do this wrong?" (Translated, that question talks about the sovereignty of God). How would any of us live different if we knew we couldn't do it wrong? When I look back at my life, I realize that despite me and all my failures, God is still working in me, gifting me, leading me, and calling me. And I am still scared and confused and wonderfully loved.
It is the adventure of what it means to belong to Him. I have been on it for awhile now. Trevor is in the early stages of it. May Jesus become more real to that young, talented, gifted, growing young man than he has ever imagined.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Face plants for Jesus
I went snowboarding yesterday with my son Trevor. Let's just say it was deeply humbling. But I think I got points for trying. How many men do you see out there learning snowboarding in their late 40's? Of course my 40+ year old body can't hardly move today. Some of those muscles haven't been used for decades.
I managed to go all the way to the 12,000 foot summit and snowboard down. It only took 40 minutes and 16 falls to do so. There were points where I was afraid I'd be walking down, snowboard over my shoulder, but eventually I made it down, beard covered in snow and my ears bright red. (Nothing a nap in the truck couldn't fix!)
After lunch I relinquished my feeble attempt at being young, and got my skis on. Where before my son had to wait patiently for his dad to get up 36 times per run, now the old man was giving him a run for his money.
I have to admit - I like being expert. Put me on a pair of skis and I can make it down the slope without nose diving in a snow bank - at least looking like I know what I am doing. But as much as I like looking expert, it was revealing to try something new. What I mean by that is this - choosing to enter my son's world earned some respect. I could have matched him all day long on skis, but daring to face plant a few dozen times somehow elevated my status with him. The old man was willing to not be an expert, and enter the world of an 18 year old.
I am so thankful I didn't get hurt. And I am so thankful that we have a God who comes down to our level as well.
For He did not consider being equal with God as something to be hung on to, but emptied Himself and became like a man.....
I managed to go all the way to the 12,000 foot summit and snowboard down. It only took 40 minutes and 16 falls to do so. There were points where I was afraid I'd be walking down, snowboard over my shoulder, but eventually I made it down, beard covered in snow and my ears bright red. (Nothing a nap in the truck couldn't fix!)
After lunch I relinquished my feeble attempt at being young, and got my skis on. Where before my son had to wait patiently for his dad to get up 36 times per run, now the old man was giving him a run for his money.
I have to admit - I like being expert. Put me on a pair of skis and I can make it down the slope without nose diving in a snow bank - at least looking like I know what I am doing. But as much as I like looking expert, it was revealing to try something new. What I mean by that is this - choosing to enter my son's world earned some respect. I could have matched him all day long on skis, but daring to face plant a few dozen times somehow elevated my status with him. The old man was willing to not be an expert, and enter the world of an 18 year old.
I am so thankful I didn't get hurt. And I am so thankful that we have a God who comes down to our level as well.
For He did not consider being equal with God as something to be hung on to, but emptied Himself and became like a man.....
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Success and failure
My third son Trevor is coming to visit today, and staying for a week. It is weird to think he is on his own and doing well. There was a season where he needed a dad, but he is at the stage now where he is pretty self sufficient. He is the neatest kid. I wish I could take credit for who he has become, but is is all God's doing, probably in spite of me.
I know that last statement is treading into self deprecation. If Trevor were bumbling through life, in and out of jail, I would struggle with feeling totally responsible. It would be hard to not see his failure as my failure. But when he is successful, it is even harder to see his success as my success.
When God looks at us, do you suppose He ever feels like He messed up somewhere? I doubt it. The good He created us to be gets compromised by our stupid choices, but it doesn't affect His stance toward us. Our failure or success isn't about Him, it is about us. It is easy to see our sinning as 'about us', but when I imagine our successes being about us, I find I quickly want to assign the good to Him. But it doesn't make sense. Either He is responsible for both or He is responsible for neither.
So that means the good in us happens when we agree with Him and live like He wants us to, but it is to our credit. We reap the consequences of our choices, whether they get us good stuff or bad stuff.
I'm sure I must be really ticking some folks off who are doctrinal whiz kids. Just trying to make sense of it all is giving me a headache.
I know that last statement is treading into self deprecation. If Trevor were bumbling through life, in and out of jail, I would struggle with feeling totally responsible. It would be hard to not see his failure as my failure. But when he is successful, it is even harder to see his success as my success.
When God looks at us, do you suppose He ever feels like He messed up somewhere? I doubt it. The good He created us to be gets compromised by our stupid choices, but it doesn't affect His stance toward us. Our failure or success isn't about Him, it is about us. It is easy to see our sinning as 'about us', but when I imagine our successes being about us, I find I quickly want to assign the good to Him. But it doesn't make sense. Either He is responsible for both or He is responsible for neither.
So that means the good in us happens when we agree with Him and live like He wants us to, but it is to our credit. We reap the consequences of our choices, whether they get us good stuff or bad stuff.
I'm sure I must be really ticking some folks off who are doctrinal whiz kids. Just trying to make sense of it all is giving me a headache.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Leaving footprints
I am loving the snow here in Colorado. It is very different than the Midwest stuff we were used to. I had always seen pictures of beautiful fir trees covered in tons of snow, with picturesque winter at its best. But through my eyes, it looked like cold and yucky winter.
But snow has begun to take on new meaning for me. It is light and powdery here, and the day times are warm and sunny, and the snow really is something to be enjoyed. Those two words - snow and enjoyment - have rarely gone together in the same sentence.
But as I walk out my front door, they combine to create a new experience for me. As I plow my way through the knee deep powder, I find myself leaving unmistakable tracks in the soft remains of the latest storm. As I look back at the swath behind me, I ask myself one of those profound questions; What kind of footprint will I leave with my life? What will be the sum impact of how I live and the ways I influence others?
I find some clear parameters to the answer - I couldn't imagine impact being defined as making lots of money or building a big building, or starting a successful business or leaving lots of things for my descendants. I find a very clear answer inside that my impact properly defined would be leaving a big footprint on the lives of the people in my world. THAT'S what I want to do. I want the steps I take to make a difference that lasts for centuries in the lives I touch. When a person's grandkids get to share in the transformation in their lives because they were impacted by Mike, my life will have been significant.
I want to leave footprints behind that leave a well marked trail to the foot of the cross.
But snow has begun to take on new meaning for me. It is light and powdery here, and the day times are warm and sunny, and the snow really is something to be enjoyed. Those two words - snow and enjoyment - have rarely gone together in the same sentence.
But as I walk out my front door, they combine to create a new experience for me. As I plow my way through the knee deep powder, I find myself leaving unmistakable tracks in the soft remains of the latest storm. As I look back at the swath behind me, I ask myself one of those profound questions; What kind of footprint will I leave with my life? What will be the sum impact of how I live and the ways I influence others?
I find some clear parameters to the answer - I couldn't imagine impact being defined as making lots of money or building a big building, or starting a successful business or leaving lots of things for my descendants. I find a very clear answer inside that my impact properly defined would be leaving a big footprint on the lives of the people in my world. THAT'S what I want to do. I want the steps I take to make a difference that lasts for centuries in the lives I touch. When a person's grandkids get to share in the transformation in their lives because they were impacted by Mike, my life will have been significant.
I want to leave footprints behind that leave a well marked trail to the foot of the cross.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Does God satisfy?
God humbly reminded me today that He is still in charge, still knows my needs, and is still interested in where my life is going. Its funny how much my mood and energy change when there is hope. I know that faith is walked out in the 'not knowing and not having logical hope', but it gets thin sometimes. And I am a little embarrassed that I don't rest in trust more often.
This whole journey lately has led me to ask myself a couple very sobering questions; What if God did everything we wanted Him to do? How would that change us?
I wonder sometimes if we just get comfortable in the asking and fall into the rut of not really expecting Him to do anything - Like it is some rote activity to get done - ask God to do what we want Him to do. Rather than an attitude that says "Well, I did my part, now what's next?(because He won't answer anyway).
If He did all that we asked of Him, would it deeply satisfy? Would it be as huge an event as we pray for, or would it quickly pass and leave us wanting more? It brings new perspective to prayer, that's for sure.
This whole journey lately has led me to ask myself a couple very sobering questions; What if God did everything we wanted Him to do? How would that change us?
I wonder sometimes if we just get comfortable in the asking and fall into the rut of not really expecting Him to do anything - Like it is some rote activity to get done - ask God to do what we want Him to do. Rather than an attitude that says "Well, I did my part, now what's next?(because He won't answer anyway).
If He did all that we asked of Him, would it deeply satisfy? Would it be as huge an event as we pray for, or would it quickly pass and leave us wanting more? It brings new perspective to prayer, that's for sure.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The adventure continues
Walking with God continues to be an adventure as everyday I wake up to a mystery. I guess that sounds a little nobler than it really is. Mystery is what is left when you can't get answers. And lately the answers I have gotten from God still leave a lot of mystery. Maybe I am the problem - I want the big answers, and He keeps giving me the little ones, like what step to take next. It is nice knowing what the next step is, but it never answers the bigger questions. I want to know where the path is going, not what one thing to do next!
Sometimes I am completely blindsided by my own continuing insistence that life go like I want it to. It seems that God isn't going to let me out of this one. He is bound and determined to help me get set free from my foolish belief that He isn't in charge. Just when life makes a little sense, the rules change, the direction changes, or the clear message from Papa becomes clouded again.
Lately the struggle isn't in hearing His voice - it is in hearing and not liking the message. I keep asking where all this is going, and He keeps responding with 'Don't worry about that - I'm in charge - trust the next right step you are supposed to take and let me take care of the big stuff'. I can't quite get Him to see that I need to know the big stuff. (He doesn't seem real concerned about my demands to know).
I am hoping to get to the point where I can rest in the next right step and forget about my desire to know all the steps from here to the finish line. May He lead us all in that journey.
Sometimes I am completely blindsided by my own continuing insistence that life go like I want it to. It seems that God isn't going to let me out of this one. He is bound and determined to help me get set free from my foolish belief that He isn't in charge. Just when life makes a little sense, the rules change, the direction changes, or the clear message from Papa becomes clouded again.
Lately the struggle isn't in hearing His voice - it is in hearing and not liking the message. I keep asking where all this is going, and He keeps responding with 'Don't worry about that - I'm in charge - trust the next right step you are supposed to take and let me take care of the big stuff'. I can't quite get Him to see that I need to know the big stuff. (He doesn't seem real concerned about my demands to know).
I am hoping to get to the point where I can rest in the next right step and forget about my desire to know all the steps from here to the finish line. May He lead us all in that journey.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Know the snow
We woke up to a couple feet of snow this morning. And then we woke up three more times when we tried to sleep in because the phone kept ringing with people cancelling appointments. I don't know if I have ever seen this much snow at one time. I think it is pretty normal for Colorado, but this is our first winter here, so it is all new to us. I have the task of digging us out sometime today, and I have to admit that I am excited about it.
There is something magical about the snow. One of the things it does is take away options. There isn't school today for the kids, and no way to meet with the people I had appointments with today. Thankfully we still have power and water, and the wood burner is cranked up. But I am captive today at home, and loving it. The fire and a safe place to snuggle up with a book brings a deep sense of security.
Papa is someone to be celebrated on days like this. He is captive with me (not really) - He is here. He is celebrating the snow with me, enjoying the security of a fire and a safe place to be. Today I want to know Him more deeply.
I know this is really corny, but when there is this much snow, it reminds me that I want to know Him. Like a thick blanket of snow, I want to be covered in His presence and security.
There is something magical about the snow. One of the things it does is take away options. There isn't school today for the kids, and no way to meet with the people I had appointments with today. Thankfully we still have power and water, and the wood burner is cranked up. But I am captive today at home, and loving it. The fire and a safe place to snuggle up with a book brings a deep sense of security.
Papa is someone to be celebrated on days like this. He is captive with me (not really) - He is here. He is celebrating the snow with me, enjoying the security of a fire and a safe place to be. Today I want to know Him more deeply.
I know this is really corny, but when there is this much snow, it reminds me that I want to know Him. Like a thick blanket of snow, I want to be covered in His presence and security.
Monday, December 15, 2008
4 AM rantings
I have been realizing that there are really two questions when it comes to facing the future. I guess I am like the next guy - I hope for answers to my questions and guidance in the journey. But like the next guy, I'm not sure how to get either.
I found myself praying tonight about what to do. 'Tell me what to do' has been a familiar prayer. But as I sat there and thought, another question came into my mind - 'Do I do?'
Maybe doing nothing is the simplest and hardest answer to hear. My question is "Am I hearing it?" Is God saying don't do anything, just trust me? And why are doing nothing and trusting always put in the same thought? I want to do. I want to make the quandary of life go away. I want answers and clear guidance and a clear path to walk. The truth is I teach about the mystery of walking with God, but I really covet answers in the mystery. I'd rather talk about it than have to live it.
What a convenient way of excluding God from the process and path of my life.
I found myself praying tonight about what to do. 'Tell me what to do' has been a familiar prayer. But as I sat there and thought, another question came into my mind - 'Do I do?'
Maybe doing nothing is the simplest and hardest answer to hear. My question is "Am I hearing it?" Is God saying don't do anything, just trust me? And why are doing nothing and trusting always put in the same thought? I want to do. I want to make the quandary of life go away. I want answers and clear guidance and a clear path to walk. The truth is I teach about the mystery of walking with God, but I really covet answers in the mystery. I'd rather talk about it than have to live it.
What a convenient way of excluding God from the process and path of my life.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
God in a blue box
I am worked up today because I went to a church building to be with other believers. It got me thinking about a very simple question; "What if God were really love?" Not love as we interpret it, not love as defined in some religious system that has all the pieces fit together, and not love seen through a lens of punishment for sin. Just love. What if God were nothing but, nothing else, nothing held back, and nothing mixed with caveats, but He were just love? What if we just believed that one descriptor of God - as love. Damn the theology and the religious systems that try to make sense of the mystery. What if we just accepted that God is love? And what if that was all we believed?
Every denomination has its system of theology that packs 'relationship with God' into its own little box that makes what they believe neat and tidy and understandable. And every system has its own little slant. One box is blue, another aqua, another sky blue, another sea blue, another midnight blue, and another ocean blue (because it is soooo different than sea blue!) And every denomination thinks it has the right system, the end all to rightness. When will we wake up and admit our own stupidity?
I choose to believe God is love. I don't pretend to understand that. I believe that He is knowable and unknowable, all at the same time. But in my understanding, I choose to try at least to keep God as boxless as possible. So I guess that makes me just like everybody else - thinking I have the right belief system.
God forgive me!
Every denomination has its system of theology that packs 'relationship with God' into its own little box that makes what they believe neat and tidy and understandable. And every system has its own little slant. One box is blue, another aqua, another sky blue, another sea blue, another midnight blue, and another ocean blue (because it is soooo different than sea blue!) And every denomination thinks it has the right system, the end all to rightness. When will we wake up and admit our own stupidity?
I choose to believe God is love. I don't pretend to understand that. I believe that He is knowable and unknowable, all at the same time. But in my understanding, I choose to try at least to keep God as boxless as possible. So I guess that makes me just like everybody else - thinking I have the right belief system.
God forgive me!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Fighting the Christmas greed monster
We have two vehicles that we own as a family, and between the two we have over 400,000 miles on them. Needless to say, neither one is very nice. Lights don't always work, there are thumps and rattles galore, and things like heat and air conditioning are tentative. But since we don't have to do a lot of driving for our work, having two old beaters works just fine. It keeps things simple - no car payments, low insurance, and the adventure of never knowing when you might break down. Could it get any better than that?
I have to confess that I sometimes lust over getting a new car or truck. There are so many luxuries out there - some I haven't even heard about yet. But I think I might just keep it that way. If I don't know about them, I won't want them. So I don't let myself go peruse car lots or check in the paper for ads. I know if I did, I would begin to see that my vehicles are sub-par, and some salesman would try to convince me that I deserved better.
I like having nothing. It keeps my greed monster in check. Because I know how huge he can get, and I know how powerful he can be in reminding me that I won't be happy until I have what I deserve. It keeps me focused on what I do deserve - nothing. It keeps me humbly reminded of the simple fact that everything is a gift.
At Christmas time this year, don't forget what matters.
I have to confess that I sometimes lust over getting a new car or truck. There are so many luxuries out there - some I haven't even heard about yet. But I think I might just keep it that way. If I don't know about them, I won't want them. So I don't let myself go peruse car lots or check in the paper for ads. I know if I did, I would begin to see that my vehicles are sub-par, and some salesman would try to convince me that I deserved better.
I like having nothing. It keeps my greed monster in check. Because I know how huge he can get, and I know how powerful he can be in reminding me that I won't be happy until I have what I deserve. It keeps me focused on what I do deserve - nothing. It keeps me humbly reminded of the simple fact that everything is a gift.
At Christmas time this year, don't forget what matters.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The measure of a man
I love the spam folder in my email. Every once in awhile I open it just to see the ridiculous things people try to hook me in with. Evidently there are a whole bunch of people out there that think my life would be better if I had more money, if had a supply of Viagra, and if my 'member' were bigger (hope I didn't offend anybody there). Its just that someone (many someones actually) assume that because I am male, I have certain needs. That is the only qualifier they have on me. They assume my typical maleness.
It scares me that 'maleness' has gotten down to the genitalia that makes us male. Isn't there a whole bunch more about being a man than that? Or are there really guys out there that buy into this junk? I think something has gotten pretty lost about our culture if that's what it means to be a man.
So let me throw out another perspective. Maybe the 'measure' (couldn't resist the pun) of a man is the ability to live for others, live with an authenticity that comes from Jesus within him, and from the guts to stand up against a profane culture that defines maleness in stupid ways.
I see Jesus being the perfect man, and when I die, I want to look as much like Him as I possibly can. I want to profoundly impact people for Him. I want to be so present, so focused, so acutely aware of the Father in me that to encounter me is to encounter Him. THAT'S what it means to be a man. And you don't need 'length' or Viagra or lots of money to do that!
It scares me that 'maleness' has gotten down to the genitalia that makes us male. Isn't there a whole bunch more about being a man than that? Or are there really guys out there that buy into this junk? I think something has gotten pretty lost about our culture if that's what it means to be a man.
So let me throw out another perspective. Maybe the 'measure' (couldn't resist the pun) of a man is the ability to live for others, live with an authenticity that comes from Jesus within him, and from the guts to stand up against a profane culture that defines maleness in stupid ways.
I see Jesus being the perfect man, and when I die, I want to look as much like Him as I possibly can. I want to profoundly impact people for Him. I want to be so present, so focused, so acutely aware of the Father in me that to encounter me is to encounter Him. THAT'S what it means to be a man. And you don't need 'length' or Viagra or lots of money to do that!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Uncage the lion
I have been out talking to people in the church lately. That means that they understand Christianity from a standard, contemporary mindset. One guy I was talking to saw a relationship with God as praying lots, going to church, tithing, and reading his Bible. I asked him if there might be a way to be more creative, but it was obvious that he could only describe a relationship with God as he understood it.
If I go to a zoo, I might see a lion. The lion isn't really much of a lion - he doesn't hunt because his food is thrown in front of him. He might mate when the zookeeper puts a female in the cage with him. But whatever understanding you might get about what a lion is and does is pretty small if you only experience the lion in the zoo. It really isn't a very good or accurate picture of a lion.
Imagine the lion got out, and was in your back yard. Suddenly the definition of a lion becomes very different. You run for your life, you get a gun, you are literally in danger for your very existence. That's a real lion. That is what a lion is supposed to be - running wild (okay, lets make it Africa and not your back yard). That lion is a whole different animal when it is in its natural habitat doing what it was created to do. Seeing it in a zoo is only to see the shell of what a lion looks like - its appearance only - with no substance.
That's what my friend saw - God behind bars, God packaged into easy to follow instructions. And he wouldn't hear of letting God out of that box.
If He really is good, why are we so afraid of Him? If we could let ourselves learn to experience God without all the props, how much more real might He become?
I love the C.S. Lewis quote from one of the books in the Narnia Chronicles, where someone asks if Aslan the lion (a figure of Jesus) is a safe lion. The person answering says something like "No, he isn't safe, but he is good!"
If I go to a zoo, I might see a lion. The lion isn't really much of a lion - he doesn't hunt because his food is thrown in front of him. He might mate when the zookeeper puts a female in the cage with him. But whatever understanding you might get about what a lion is and does is pretty small if you only experience the lion in the zoo. It really isn't a very good or accurate picture of a lion.
Imagine the lion got out, and was in your back yard. Suddenly the definition of a lion becomes very different. You run for your life, you get a gun, you are literally in danger for your very existence. That's a real lion. That is what a lion is supposed to be - running wild (okay, lets make it Africa and not your back yard). That lion is a whole different animal when it is in its natural habitat doing what it was created to do. Seeing it in a zoo is only to see the shell of what a lion looks like - its appearance only - with no substance.
That's what my friend saw - God behind bars, God packaged into easy to follow instructions. And he wouldn't hear of letting God out of that box.
If He really is good, why are we so afraid of Him? If we could let ourselves learn to experience God without all the props, how much more real might He become?
I love the C.S. Lewis quote from one of the books in the Narnia Chronicles, where someone asks if Aslan the lion (a figure of Jesus) is a safe lion. The person answering says something like "No, he isn't safe, but he is good!"
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Running scared
Lately the adventure with God has been leading me to journey out on some pretty thin ice financially. It has been scary, and yet there has been an assuredness that the path was the right one. I knew it was what I was supposed to do, even if it didn't make sense. It isn't the first time that we have followed the Lord out here. It's just that this is the current adventure, and it feels pretty visceral right now.
I realized today that faithfully following Him doesn't imply that something good will come of that following. I have been seeing that that kind of thinking is still residue of the religious thinking that I suffered under for years. I believed that God would always give me bigger and better things - that He was my eternal Santa Clause, just waiting to bless me with presents. Now I am seeing that following Him, even out onto thin ice, is the right way to walk - even if it gets me nothing. There may or may not be a 'reward' or positive outcome from venturing out here. He is still worthy of following - without the pseudo promises and guarantees that religion sells us.
So I am out here, the ice cracking beneath my feet, and yet I know that if I plunge into the freezing water, it is because I was willing to go where I thought Papa was leading. And I will know that if the ice breaks, it was His will for me to get wet. And I want to get to the place where I can trust that if I nearly freeze to death in that frigid water, it will be because He loves me profoundly. But I have to confess, I'm not quite there yet.
I realized today that faithfully following Him doesn't imply that something good will come of that following. I have been seeing that that kind of thinking is still residue of the religious thinking that I suffered under for years. I believed that God would always give me bigger and better things - that He was my eternal Santa Clause, just waiting to bless me with presents. Now I am seeing that following Him, even out onto thin ice, is the right way to walk - even if it gets me nothing. There may or may not be a 'reward' or positive outcome from venturing out here. He is still worthy of following - without the pseudo promises and guarantees that religion sells us.
So I am out here, the ice cracking beneath my feet, and yet I know that if I plunge into the freezing water, it is because I was willing to go where I thought Papa was leading. And I will know that if the ice breaks, it was His will for me to get wet. And I want to get to the place where I can trust that if I nearly freeze to death in that frigid water, it will be because He loves me profoundly. But I have to confess, I'm not quite there yet.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Slogging in the mud
I got the privilege of working outside today in the snow and the mud and the wet and the cold. It reminded me why I hate construction work. I suppose the Apostle Paul felt the same way about tent making - not his love, but what he had to do sometimes. Building a deck today was what I had to do.
There is a test of our personhood when we have to do what we don't want to do that tells what kind of person you are. It is a test of character and integrity. I realized today that slopping around in the mud and snow, soaking wet and cold is a good job for everyone to have to do now and then. It is just plain humbling.
I wonder if we would have a whole bunch less corporate bail outs if the boneheads on the top of those organizations could get out and do some manual labor in the mud and snow. It would teach them just how big they really are.
So this evening I am feeling pretty humbled by my day. I guess it is good to be reminded that I am not so very important in the world. Or at least not as important as I think I am sometimes.
There is a test of our personhood when we have to do what we don't want to do that tells what kind of person you are. It is a test of character and integrity. I realized today that slopping around in the mud and snow, soaking wet and cold is a good job for everyone to have to do now and then. It is just plain humbling.
I wonder if we would have a whole bunch less corporate bail outs if the boneheads on the top of those organizations could get out and do some manual labor in the mud and snow. It would teach them just how big they really are.
So this evening I am feeling pretty humbled by my day. I guess it is good to be reminded that I am not so very important in the world. Or at least not as important as I think I am sometimes.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Worrying for Jesus
Lets see, what is on my heart today? Life is good. I am somewhat overwhelmed with how good it is. I know deeply that I don't deserve whatever goodness God has given me. But do any of us?
I find that money is always tight, and God is always good - meaning that we haven't skipped a meal yet, haven't had to do without anything we really need, and haven't slept out on the ground without it being a backpacking trip yet. So the only thing that is really wrong is my tendency to worry (a lot of good that does). Somewhere inside is still the lie that I can control things if I just give it enough fretting. If you take that away, everything is just as it should be.
So what would it take to stop the worry? Maybe nothing more than a choice to admit I am not so powerful that I am going to accomplish anything by my worry anyway. Doesn't really seem like that much of a shift, does it?
I find that money is always tight, and God is always good - meaning that we haven't skipped a meal yet, haven't had to do without anything we really need, and haven't slept out on the ground without it being a backpacking trip yet. So the only thing that is really wrong is my tendency to worry (a lot of good that does). Somewhere inside is still the lie that I can control things if I just give it enough fretting. If you take that away, everything is just as it should be.
So what would it take to stop the worry? Maybe nothing more than a choice to admit I am not so powerful that I am going to accomplish anything by my worry anyway. Doesn't really seem like that much of a shift, does it?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Living famous
We watched a movie last night about a guy who became famous (I had never heard of him). As Laura and I watched the path of his life, I found myself wondering why he didn't excel even more. Then it dawned on me that he didn't know he was going to be famous. It just happened that he impacted people in powerful ways.
One of my hero's is Abraham Lincoln. But as I thought about it, old Abe didn't split rails for a living each day thinking "I am going to be famous, so I had better make every decision toward that end." When he was a lawyer, he was a lawyer, not a president to be. He didn't know he was going to be famous.
I wonder how differently we would live our lives if we knew we were going to be famous. I think there were a lot of things I would do different. There are several really, REALLY stupid things I think I would have elected to not do. When I look back, I realize I would have lived differently.
So what keeps us from living as if we are going to be famous? Who knows but that someday someone is going to be reading Mike Ege's blog and think to themselves "He wasn't even famous yet when he wrote this".
Live like you are going to be famous - everyday.
One of my hero's is Abraham Lincoln. But as I thought about it, old Abe didn't split rails for a living each day thinking "I am going to be famous, so I had better make every decision toward that end." When he was a lawyer, he was a lawyer, not a president to be. He didn't know he was going to be famous.
I wonder how differently we would live our lives if we knew we were going to be famous. I think there were a lot of things I would do different. There are several really, REALLY stupid things I think I would have elected to not do. When I look back, I realize I would have lived differently.
So what keeps us from living as if we are going to be famous? Who knows but that someday someone is going to be reading Mike Ege's blog and think to themselves "He wasn't even famous yet when he wrote this".
Live like you are going to be famous - everyday.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tumbleweeds
We were driving across the plains of Nebraska last week. Let me say that it just doesn't get any better than Nebraska. No mountains, not many trees, not much to write home about, and a great state to not live in. Sorry if that offends the folks who read my blog who happen to be stuck in Nebraska. You have that great arch across I-80 in Kearny, what more could you ask for?
But there is one thing that Nebraska has that is cool - maybe only one. That is tumbleweeds. When we came through the other day, the wind was cruising along at like 40 mile an hour, and the tumbleweeds were out for a hay day. There were times when there must have been 50 or more immediately in front of us. At first I tried dodging them, which the kids thought was great as the car swerved left and right at 80 mph. But there were so many of them, all in a hurry to get somewhere else that I finally relaxed and just ran them over, which, when coupled with crash sound effects from the driver's seat gave the boys even more to laugh about.
I admit I was tired and bored driving across Nebraska, but as I stared at tumbleweeds rushing across my path I thought of contemporary Christianity. The tumbleweeds obviously thought that there was someplace else that might be better for them to go, so they rushed across the 4 lanes of traffic to get there. It reminded me of the machinery of Christianity that has often become a contest between churches to attract the most people. It was quite a few years ago when it became popular to have coffee bars and free childcare (for a donation of course) so people could come fellowship together. I have heard now that some churches have work out equipment, movie screening rooms, 24 hour hot lines if a believer needs to call in and hear inspirational music, and popular ring tones that you can download so when someone calls you, the music could be a witness - maybe someone will repent because they heard Casting Crowns on your phone.
And like tumbleweeds, Christians seeking the latest and the bestest go running to the box in town with the best show.
I don't want to get into a bunch of judgment about the state of Christianity. All I want to ask is the simple question - "Is this what Jesus had in mind when He died?"
But there is one thing that Nebraska has that is cool - maybe only one. That is tumbleweeds. When we came through the other day, the wind was cruising along at like 40 mile an hour, and the tumbleweeds were out for a hay day. There were times when there must have been 50 or more immediately in front of us. At first I tried dodging them, which the kids thought was great as the car swerved left and right at 80 mph. But there were so many of them, all in a hurry to get somewhere else that I finally relaxed and just ran them over, which, when coupled with crash sound effects from the driver's seat gave the boys even more to laugh about.
I admit I was tired and bored driving across Nebraska, but as I stared at tumbleweeds rushing across my path I thought of contemporary Christianity. The tumbleweeds obviously thought that there was someplace else that might be better for them to go, so they rushed across the 4 lanes of traffic to get there. It reminded me of the machinery of Christianity that has often become a contest between churches to attract the most people. It was quite a few years ago when it became popular to have coffee bars and free childcare (for a donation of course) so people could come fellowship together. I have heard now that some churches have work out equipment, movie screening rooms, 24 hour hot lines if a believer needs to call in and hear inspirational music, and popular ring tones that you can download so when someone calls you, the music could be a witness - maybe someone will repent because they heard Casting Crowns on your phone.
And like tumbleweeds, Christians seeking the latest and the bestest go running to the box in town with the best show.
I don't want to get into a bunch of judgment about the state of Christianity. All I want to ask is the simple question - "Is this what Jesus had in mind when He died?"
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Celebrating Unclebobs
I have an uncle named Bob. Actually I have never known him as Bob. It was always one word - Unclebob. He is my favorite uncle, and he is turning 90 next year. He has always been there in my life, and although we haven't really had a lot of heart to heart talks, he is the guy I could do that with. When I was younger, he was a gold mine - not because he was imbued with such wisdom as much as he was NOT my parents. A hundred years ago, families were larger. Gramma and Grandpa lived with the family or near the family. Aunts and uncles were intimate family, not distant relatives. And it was the 'extra family' that brought sanity to the family.
Extra family, the Unclebobs in the world, were the people who could speak a fresh perspective into a situation. The Unclebobs could say the same things parents were saying, but because it was an Unclebob and not a parent speaking the words, a young person could hear them.
We need some people who are willing to be Unclebobs for people struggling to find their way in life - and I don't mean for just the young folks. All of us need an Unclebob who can help us see more clearly.
So my challenge is simple to any reader trying to find his or her way in life; be an Unclebob, or get an Unclebob. There really aren't any other options. Be an impacter of other's lives, or get someone to impact your life so you can become an influencer in the world.
Extra family, the Unclebobs in the world, were the people who could speak a fresh perspective into a situation. The Unclebobs could say the same things parents were saying, but because it was an Unclebob and not a parent speaking the words, a young person could hear them.
We need some people who are willing to be Unclebobs for people struggling to find their way in life - and I don't mean for just the young folks. All of us need an Unclebob who can help us see more clearly.
So my challenge is simple to any reader trying to find his or her way in life; be an Unclebob, or get an Unclebob. There really aren't any other options. Be an impacter of other's lives, or get someone to impact your life so you can become an influencer in the world.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Real customer service
We just got back from 11 days gone to see relatives in the Midwest. As typical with family, there were some great highs and lows. We got back last night with the pervasive sense that it was good to be FROM the Midwest - we are thankful we don't live there. We really missed the mountains.
One of the highlights of the trip was a visit to the fish market. My dad and his wife live near the Mississippi river, and there is this place in Fulton Illinois called Schaffers Fish Market that we have gone to for 126 years, or since I was a kid, which ever is farther back. My brother and I disagreed about whether it was our mom or our grandmother who took us when we were kids, but we both had memories of buying big old slabs of smoked fish and inhaling it all the way home. So to follow family tradition, we took the kids down to the fish place while we were back there.
And I must say that Schaffer's fish market was one of the highest points of my trip. The lady at the counter went way over backwards to let us sample every smoked fish they had. She even pulled a bag of Doritos off the shelf because she insisted that one of the types of fish was heavenly when eaten off a Doritos chip, so she just gave us a bag. We never did eat any lunch that day - we were too full on fish. We ended up buying $8 worth of fish after sampling $20 worth. But she was thrilled to have given us a good experience at the fish market. She kept saying that if you treat people like family, they'll come back. We didn't tell her we were from out of state, but I will be honest - if I get back to the area I'll be visiting Schaffer's again. It was what customer service is supposed to be all about.
I wonder when we decided that customer service was optional? The opposite of the Shaffer's experience was a Wendy's experience. I ordered off the picture menu where they displayed a huge, luscious burger. When it arrived, it was 3/4 of an inch thick - not the meat, the whole stupid sandwich. It was undercooked and made me nauseous immediately. I thought they gave me the wrong thing at first, but it was supposedly the same product as the one in the picture. I was so bothered I almost complained to the manager, but I knew it would be a fruitless proposition.
True customer service means treating the person buying your product with respect and value. I would have bought a smoked shoe from the fish market because of their customer service. And I'll never go back to Wendy's.
As Christians, I wonder why we don't treat the people in our world with the kind of self sacrifice and respect I found at Schaffer's. Shouldn't that be the call on our lives? But instead we offer a form of religion that mandates a certain level of performance and self righteous living that is flat and lifeless. We don't really go out and be salt and light much in the world. We want them to come to us, and in doing so, we have expectations that they look and act and smell and believe in certain ways that are popular.
Real customer service is about the customer, not about us. And so is authentic Christianity.
One of the highlights of the trip was a visit to the fish market. My dad and his wife live near the Mississippi river, and there is this place in Fulton Illinois called Schaffers Fish Market that we have gone to for 126 years, or since I was a kid, which ever is farther back. My brother and I disagreed about whether it was our mom or our grandmother who took us when we were kids, but we both had memories of buying big old slabs of smoked fish and inhaling it all the way home. So to follow family tradition, we took the kids down to the fish place while we were back there.
And I must say that Schaffer's fish market was one of the highest points of my trip. The lady at the counter went way over backwards to let us sample every smoked fish they had. She even pulled a bag of Doritos off the shelf because she insisted that one of the types of fish was heavenly when eaten off a Doritos chip, so she just gave us a bag. We never did eat any lunch that day - we were too full on fish. We ended up buying $8 worth of fish after sampling $20 worth. But she was thrilled to have given us a good experience at the fish market. She kept saying that if you treat people like family, they'll come back. We didn't tell her we were from out of state, but I will be honest - if I get back to the area I'll be visiting Schaffer's again. It was what customer service is supposed to be all about.
I wonder when we decided that customer service was optional? The opposite of the Shaffer's experience was a Wendy's experience. I ordered off the picture menu where they displayed a huge, luscious burger. When it arrived, it was 3/4 of an inch thick - not the meat, the whole stupid sandwich. It was undercooked and made me nauseous immediately. I thought they gave me the wrong thing at first, but it was supposedly the same product as the one in the picture. I was so bothered I almost complained to the manager, but I knew it would be a fruitless proposition.
True customer service means treating the person buying your product with respect and value. I would have bought a smoked shoe from the fish market because of their customer service. And I'll never go back to Wendy's.
As Christians, I wonder why we don't treat the people in our world with the kind of self sacrifice and respect I found at Schaffer's. Shouldn't that be the call on our lives? But instead we offer a form of religion that mandates a certain level of performance and self righteous living that is flat and lifeless. We don't really go out and be salt and light much in the world. We want them to come to us, and in doing so, we have expectations that they look and act and smell and believe in certain ways that are popular.
Real customer service is about the customer, not about us. And so is authentic Christianity.
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