I hear a lot of evangelical Christians talking about how we need to base everything on scripture. I remember holding that same value when I was a fundy too. Now that whole picture seems pretty confusing.
I find myself wanting to ask silly questions - "Which particular set of scriptures are we referring to? The KJV or the NIV or the NAS or the BS version of the Bible??" Or which interpretation of the "scriptures" are we holding to? Are we Armenian or Calvin? Are we reformation or Anabaptist? Because the real truth is that you can talk to 10 different theologians and get 12 different interpretations from 18 different schools of thought about a single verse from the Bible.
So which beliefs are we drawing from what interpretation of what scriptures?
And what ever happened to the presentness of God? Why do we rely so heavily on how God represented Himself 2000 years ago, yet ignore that He is still hanging around right now, equally as knowable?
I guess "knowing scriptures" is a hell of a lot easier than knowing God.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Waiting
I feel like I am holding my breath. We are in transition right now, poised between yesterday and where ever it is Papa is leading us. We are trying to sell the house and move an hour west, but I am struggling with the rawness of how powerless I am to make that happen.
Several years ago I would have tried to manipulate God into doing what I thought He should do by praying or fasting or getting a bunch of others to pray and fast. Because I was taught a bunch of BS about God - namely that all a guy had to do was do the right set of spiritual gymnastics and he could get God to bless whatever scheme he had to get ahead. I know now that my prayers, at best, might make me more sensitive to His plan, but He loves me enough to not do what I think should be done.
So I am left in this new space today - learning to sit with the fear and panic and distrust that comes up when I truly let go of trying to control God. But I have to be honest - I really hate this place. It is much easier to carry the belief that I just need to be more righteous - then God will listen to me and do what I say.
As I write that out, it seems ridiculous that any of us think we can control God. But I am a little ashamed with my deep desire to still want to do that. And evidence of my need for His continued work.
Several years ago I would have tried to manipulate God into doing what I thought He should do by praying or fasting or getting a bunch of others to pray and fast. Because I was taught a bunch of BS about God - namely that all a guy had to do was do the right set of spiritual gymnastics and he could get God to bless whatever scheme he had to get ahead. I know now that my prayers, at best, might make me more sensitive to His plan, but He loves me enough to not do what I think should be done.
So I am left in this new space today - learning to sit with the fear and panic and distrust that comes up when I truly let go of trying to control God. But I have to be honest - I really hate this place. It is much easier to carry the belief that I just need to be more righteous - then God will listen to me and do what I say.
As I write that out, it seems ridiculous that any of us think we can control God. But I am a little ashamed with my deep desire to still want to do that. And evidence of my need for His continued work.
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