Discovering my unimportance

I wonder sometimes what people like reading in my blogs. Some say they like the 'straight from the heart' style. Some say the thoughts I share are stimulating. Some say my mom pays them to read. I still wonder.

One guy who recently read said that there wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. I guess he is probably right. I wonder if there is anything new under the sun. I want to say profound things. I want to write in a way that is revolutionary and provocative. And I want people to read and get something unique out of what they read. I think maybe I had better hire a ghost writer.

The more I journey down this road, the more I am struck with my unimportance in the grand scheme of things. I used to think that meant to try harder - come up with something profoundly unique - be radically differenter than any other person (there - that has to be unique.) What it all boils down to is me being the mostest and bestest and all the other 'est' words one could think of. And when I step away from it all, I see a pretty sobering truth. It isn't about me.

The truth is that I could never be the bestest at anything, and if I did, it would draw lots of attention to me, and that's a problem. You see, I like attention, like most of us do. The problem is that God deserves the attention, not me. Every time I make something about me, I am taking the attention away from where it should be - on Papa. It is about Him - always, every time, in every way, totally, and without compromise. I WANT it to be all about Him.

So I guess I am learning to draw attention to Him, and be okay with not having the attention be on me. I really do want people to see this incredible God who is love - nothing less and nothing but. My deepest wish is that people will somehow see Him in a different light in what I write - even if mom has to pay them to.