Saturday, December 27, 2008

Talkin till 3

Last night my son Trevor and I sat up till 3 am talking. I don't think I've done that since college. For an old fart, I don't feel too bad today. By the way, how long till nap time?

It was one of those 'contemplating your navel' kind of talks - good for a father and son to have. Just hanging out and talking and daring to venture closer in relationship, to talk about the good and the difficult stuff.

It was cool as I look back because I realize there were three of us there - me and Trev and our Papa. In some ways Trevor was just venturing closer to his dad - we don't get to hang much these days living 4 states away from each other. He asked about my life and my beliefs and had questions about relationships - but not as a boy talking to his dad as much as a young man talking to an old man. And both of us were learning to venture closer to our Papa.

By 3 am I had given him all the wisdom I had, and the world's problems had been solved. I realized he was going to be okay because he was God's, not mine. He is so much like I was at his age - gifted, confused, called, scared - a really good place to be. I don't mean by that that I want him to have to be stuck in all those emotions. What I mean is that when I look back on my life, I see that Papa walked with me every step of my journey. At each turn He has brought beauty out of the ashes of my life and redeemed all that I have foolishly squandered. He has been there - always, forever, eternally.

So I asked Trevor the question "What if you can't do this wrong?" (Translated, that question talks about the sovereignty of God). How would any of us live different if we knew we couldn't do it wrong? When I look back at my life, I realize that despite me and all my failures, God is still working in me, gifting me, leading me, and calling me. And I am still scared and confused and wonderfully loved.

It is the adventure of what it means to belong to Him. I have been on it for awhile now. Trevor is in the early stages of it. May Jesus become more real to that young, talented, gifted, growing young man than he has ever imagined.

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